Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Eve

Colin,

It is 11:20 p.m. and "Santa" has already done the firetruck ride, Ava went to bed (way too late), Mommy went to bed (way too late as well since she was sick), and Daddy is enjoying a quiet moment with you. Christmas was never a favorite of Daddy's for many years and for many reasons, but after Ava was born, it became fun again. Seeing her eyes light up like the tree under which her presents resided was/is always amazing. Seeing how she has grown and now knows what "Santa" has is store for her is truly astounding. The sparkle in her eyes melts Daddy's heart. Christmas is whole with her. Then you come along. Christmas was supposed to be even more whole than whole...I know...makes no sense, but bear with me. The level of love and fun on Christmas went off the charts with Ava, so with you, Daddy figured we just needed a new chart. Thinking about how she and you would interact under the tree, tearing apart the paper, and having anything and everything sticky and gooey in your (and her) hair made Christmas that much more fun. Wow, what a way to spend the day...but, to no avail...dead is dead, and it sucks. Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of a savior, Jesus Christ. That sounds all well and good, but when Christmas is supposed to be about the birth of someone who saves humanity, why is it that Daddy (and Mommy, and Ava) have to "celebrate" it without you?

I so love you!
Daddy

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