In taking Ava to school today, we did our usual talking in the car about whatever pops into her mind. She made me laugh and smile as she usually does in those special 10 minutes we share in the car, but as we got to her school, I dropped my badge which has her picture and Colin's on the reverse (I need to update to include Audrey too) hanging behind it. She picked it up and showed the pictures to her little friends who mistook Colin for Audrey (an easy mistake since Audrey is alive and they have seen her in person) Ava then explained to then that the picture is really of her baby brother. The kids looked confused until she blurted out..."God is greedy, so he took my baby brother away." Well, needless to say, that was a bit heart wrenching, but I have learned composure over the past 2+ years. She then launched into how thunder is really baby brother having too many burritos and tooting in heaven which made everyone laugh.
Why am I sharing this? and why does it matter? I will try to explain. One of the major issues I always wrestle with is the concept of God, especially in respect to how organized religion often portrays him/her. God has been portrayed and anything from vengeful and vindictive to loving and embracing and every other dichotomous words you can cobble together. God often seems petty, unforgiving, and preferential. Hell, God even has a "Chosen People" (I guess the rest of us are screwed). So, what am I to think of God when my 5 year old says that s/he is greedy? I think that the God that many organized religions portray is a sad reflection of our own humanity...or lack thereof.
Since the word 'greedy' was what started me thinking, I will only focus on that to end my rumblings. Why would a loving and embracing God give my family a gift so precious to only take him away after two short months? Why would a loving and embracing God leave my family with a death that has no answers? Finally why would a loving and embracing God have the need to be greedy? My "God" would not leave me with any of these questions. My "God" would not have my 5 year old telling her friends that "God is greedy", and my "God" will be held accountable for his lack of humanity.