Colin,
Daddy is just sitting here thinking of all the things that never got said, shared, or done because you were here for such a short time. Overhearing another Dad talk about how annoyed he was to have to run his son to practice, then a friend's house, then have to pick them up after that is what sparked this line of thinking. Does this Dad know anyone who has a dead child? Does he even understand how petty his annoyances sound? Does he comprehend the precious little time we get to spend with our children before they are grown and gone...let alone die way to early? Daddy's guess to all three questions (and many more) is that he has not a clue, and for that, Daddy is sad for him. He is missing out on a relationship Daddy and you were just beginning to cultivate.
I love you!
Daddy
Yup - I know just what you mean. I had a little bit more time with my son, but he was sick for 13 months of his short 21 month life. Most of that time was spent in the hospital. There were so many things I never go to do with him! I took get frustrated when I hear other people complain about all the "have to do"! I just want to scream at them and say "AT LEAST YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO DO IT WITH!!!" Sigh....
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Sometimes I'm glad I learned to not take time for granted...and to appreciate every minute of it. I just wish I didn't have to learn the hardest way.
ReplyDeleteI have two living children and one that is not living. Although I love both of my surviving ones, I am human. Sometimes, I get overwhelmed, tired, and frustrated. Doesn't mean I am not aware of my love for them or that I don't usually love doing things with them. Doesn't mean I don't wish I could have done those things for Toby, too. Just means I am having a bad day or moment. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt in these cases. Although, if they're always complaining about their children, that's a different story. I don't want to hear it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad of that, too. I said that once and someone looked at me like I had grown two heads. In some ways, I think I'm a better person than I was before. I, for one, am jealous of people and their blissful naivete that nothing bad will ever happen to their families. On the other hand, because I know it can, I think I might be a better parent than I was before.
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