Today is your Mommy's birthday, so to help celebrate, I want to let you in on a little secret about Mommy. She is terrible at math. I mean, she can add, subtract, multiply, and divide ok, but she has this strange notion of lower, middle, and upper when it comes to numbers. I know, it sounds confusing, so let me explain. You see, when your Mommy turned 30, she decided that she really did not like that number, so she stayed in her upper 20s. How is this you ask? I tried to do the calculus on it too and finally just attributed it all to the elusive imaginary number. I know, I know, this is strange stuff, but you have not heard anything yet. Somehow when your Mommy turned 35, she was still in her early 30s. Huh?!? Again, I feel your pain and confusion.
Here is the thing about Mommy and math when it comes to age. Mommy does not like the big numbers, so she warps time and uses equations that would make Euclid smack his forehead in frustration. However, even with her skewed understanding of how to add +1 every September 20, your Mommy is still the most beautiful woman in the world (When Ava becomes an adult I will have to adjust the household titles) and the best Mommy ever, so we indulge her and let her think her math is always correct. Trust me, never argue with a woman about her age…that gets you some couch time.
Well, Colin, no matter the number or how Mommy arrives at her ever creative mathematical conclusions, it is still her birthday and we celebrate the fact that she is an amazing wife, Mommy, and person! Happy Birthday Mommy/Wife/Ellen!
Colin, Ava, and Steven