Just Needed to Vent

The last few nights have been filled with nightmares that I will not even begin to describe, but they got me thinking about what SIDS really is. It is far more than the death of an infant from an unknown cause, it is the death of a parent as well. It is the death of normal. It is the death of sanity. It is the death of understanding, and it is the death of peace. I have said it before, but SIDS is one of the ugliest (if not the ugliest) things in human existence. It has robbed me and my family of so much and yet has nothing to say for itself other than...screw you. I hate being a SIDS dad. I hate seeing only 2 of my 3 children grow while the other is in a box. I hate SIDS more and more each day. It has taken far too much of me and from me, and I will never forgive it for the long path I will forever have to walk. Screw you too SIDS.