Holidays are clearly some of the roughest terrain we
navigate after a loss. The ways we handle them are as individual as we
are. What is vitally important is that we be present for the loss in
whatever form the holidays do or don’t take. These holidays are part of
the journey to be felt fully. They are usually very sad, but sometimes
we may catch ourselves doing okay, and we may even have a brief moment
of laughter. You don’t have to be a victim of the pain or the past. When
the past calls, let it go to voice mail…it has nothing to say. You
don’t have to be haunted by the pain or the past. You can remember and
honor the love. Whatever you experience, just remember that sadness is
allowed because death, as they say, doesn’t take a holiday.
Even without grief, our friends and relatives often
think they know how our holidays should look, what the family should and
shouldn’t do. Now more than ever, be gentle with yourself. Don’t do
more than you want, and don’t do anything that does not serve your soul
and your loss.
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As much as it hurts, the holidays are not going to go away. This is the best advice I have read in quite some time.
"You don’t have to be a victim of the pain or the past."
Here is the link: http://grief.com/grief-the-holidays/
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