Colin,
I have no idea what brings up these feelings sometimes, I just know they happen and hurt. It is 8:55 a.m. as I start typing this note to you, and it feels as if time has slowed to a virtual halt. The day has no meaning, I am finding no motivation to do my job, and I feel like just crawling into a hole and crying. Maybe it is reading blogs from other Dads and families, or maybe it is just the picture I have of you on my computer, or who knows what. Maybe it is just that some days are meant to suck in a way to make me think about you a bit more than normal. Whatever the reason, today just hurts a bit more than usual, and I wish that I could turn back the hands of time and hold you once more. I know I have said this before, but I am sorry that I failed to protect you and failed to save you. More than anything, I just miss you.
Love,
Daddy
As I read your blogs on your very precious son I weep- for our ( baby grandson) Gabriel Hunter Lopez died July 14 , 2006 and was born March 2, 2006 do not know if any connection to the dates but our Gabriel died suddenly the early morning of July 14, 2006 as most people lay sleeping..official time at the hospital @ 5:26 am they ruled his death..we waited six weeks for the coroners report..it was first ruled as SIDS but then final was a congenital heart defect.But when checking into further two other drs said they do not believe it was a heart defect to make us more confused. As a result now and as fate would have it our daughter has found a job at a heart association to help awareness and prevent congenital heart defects.We weep for you and your loss of your baby and our Gabriel-I feel they have found each other in heaven.Kathy from Texas
ReplyDelete