I have no idea what brings up these feelings sometimes, I just know they happen and hurt. It is 8:55 a.m. as I start typing this note to you, and it feels as if time has slowed to a virtual halt. The day has no meaning, I am finding no motivation to do my job, and I feel like just crawling into a hole and crying. Maybe it is reading blogs from other Dads and families, or maybe it is just the picture I have of you on my computer, or who knows what. Maybe it is just that some days are meant to suck in a way to make me think about you a bit more than normal. Whatever the reason, today just hurts a bit more than usual, and I wish that I could turn back the hands of time and hold you once more. I know I have said this before, but I am sorry that I failed to protect you and failed to save you. More than anything, I just miss you.