Friday, August 19, 2011


The Beginnings of Separation Anxiety
Your Baby at 7 Months of Age

"If your baby is like most at this age, he's showing signs of separation anxiety. Far from being a cause for concern, stranger anxiety is a sign of your baby's growing understanding of the world around him.

Earlier, when you left the room, your baby was hardly phased. Now he knows that you're gone — and he's able to picture you and miss you — and may begin to cry as soon as you're out of his sight.

Your baby's reluctance to be separated from you may delight you or just plain frustrate you at times. If you head out to do an errand and your baby's staying home, shower him with loads of hugs and kisses before you head out the door and tell him you'll be back shortly. He won't understand that you'll be returning in an hour, but the love and affection might comfort him and tide him over until he sees you again.

Also, try to have a ritual of leaving that he can rely on each time you go and leave him with someone he's familiar with. That way, if he can't have Mom or Dad, at least he'll feel happy with his temporary caretaker."


This is somewhat coincidental with how I have been feeling these past few days. I am having something akin to separation anxiety in that as my grief morphs more and more into a manageable entity as opposed to an unrelenting burden, I feel a bit disconnected from you at times. I struggle with what to write sometimes, but want to make sure to write as often as possible. By now, I am sure that you and many others are tired of hearing about how much I miss you. Just the other day, someone told me that I should be "over it" by now. This angered me in that they have no idea that I will never get "over it," as well as the inference that you are an "it."

I know that they did not mean anything harmful, just like most, when the silence bothers them and they feel that the "elephant in the room" needs to be addressed, their words turn stupid or cliche. My anger usually subsides quickly, and I say something to let them know that they were insensitive, but try to do it in a kind way. After all, I have had a life-long belief that most people's family pets are brighter than their owners. Have you ever have a dog not "understand" when you do not feel well or are having a bad day?

Anyway, I just was thinking about what you would be doing right about now, and to find that you would be feeling the same way if you were alive is somewhat comforting in a weird way. It just means that our bond would have been strengthening, and you would biologically start processing what love is. Hopefully you are still processing it and realize how much Daddy does love you.

Take to you soon! Love,


  1. When I'm having a bad day, my dog crawls in bed next to me, trying to cuddle me better. (I definitely agree that most of them are brighter than their owners.)

    I hope our babies do realize how much they are loved....

  2. I think I have been feeling serparation anxiety since our daughters passing. Right now I dont think I want it to go away because I sometimes feel its one of the only connections I still have left. Im sure in due time it will subside but for now Im happy with my SA.

    Its always funny to me how books try to explain what a baby is going though. After watching my daughter in her short 16 week lifespan I know that babies love and care and smile and all of those other "human" thing well before there "markers". I know all of our babies loved us from the start!

    And Steven, dont worry, we never get tired of hearing you say how much you love and miss you son. Keep saying it brother! I dont know how you didn't punch that guy that told you that you should be "over it" by now!

    Take care and know you and your family are always in our thoughts and prayer!

    Have a great weekend!
    Ernesto, Chris, and Angel Z

  3. You know, I have considered more than once about writing a book concerning the stupid things that people say in regards to losing a child. Most of the time I try to laugh but sometimes it just really pisses me off. The logical side of me says that they couldn't possibly know or understand and the compassionate side of me hopes that they never do. The angry side, though, wants to tell them to piss off. :-)

    You go right ahead and talk about how much you love and miss Colin all you want.