Colin,
I found this poem (author unknown) that just hit me in the right/wrong way today, and I wanted to share. I did change a few of the words to make it relate to you a bit better, but the essence of the words has not changed.
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Will I know my baby when we meet again?
Will he have grown up, not be the infant that died on my chest?
Will I recognize him, be able to find him among so many others?
Or will he be a stranger to me, not knowing who I am,
or me knowing him?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
He never got his first tooth, or said his first words.
No first shoes, no Santa, no first birthday cake.
Will my son still be a baby when we meet again?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Who sings him precious lullabies?
Who holds him close and kisses him everyday?
Who tells him constantly that they love him?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
When we next meet, will he know me?
Will he want to know me?
Will he be my son who died at two months, or a man, fully grown?
Will I have the joy of being a father to my son for all eternity?
Do babies grow up in heaven?
Will I be able to hold him, love him, sing lullabies to him?
Will I be able to hold his tiny hand, or will it be a man's hand?
Will I ever have the joy that only holding my son can bring?
I need to know! Will you still be a baby in heaven?
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I love you!
Daddy
As I try to hold it together here at work I know I have contemplated this many times. I know that right now my precious Z is still a baby in Heaven, little wing flying, flapping as fast as a hummingbird. But yes the tought has come to me, "When I see her again will she still be a baby?" I hope so. I really am hoping she will still be a baby when I see her again. I hold onto that thought.
ReplyDeleteGreat poem Steven. Thinking of you and take care!
Ernesto