Did you know that October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day? Well, neither did I until someone pointed it out to me...not that I really wanted this particular nugget of information, but since I know it is out there, it is yet another example of how we Dads are "second class grievers" yet again. These days, we men are expected to say "we are pregnant" or "we are expecting" so that we men seem sensitive and involved, even though the Moms really do all the work for the first nine months. However, when something goes horribly wrong...miscarriage, still birth, or infant death, we men are expected to "keep a stiff upper lip" and "be strong for the sake of the family." You have to love that little bit of societal hypocrisy.
I have looked, and trust me, every website dedicated to October 15 focuses solely on the grief of the mother. For anyone and everyone out there...over 500,000 infant deaths occur each year in the United States alone! You know what that means...there are 500,000 Dads that hurt as well....each year! We do not want to usurp the Moms in any way...actually we want to share our thoughts so maybe we can better understand theirs. We want to know it is ok for us to mourn our children and cry with our wives. We want to be Dads from conception to death...no matter when or how our child's death may occur. So on this October 15, don't forget to hug a Dad as well as a Mom. We will love you and appreciate you for remembering.
Ok buddy...enough ranting from your father today.
I love you!