Your Daddy knows that he can be difficult at times, even before you died there were times that I was not the most pleasant person to always be around. However, I never abandoned family in times of need. So now, when I ask for help...other than a few select family members, the rest have just faded away. It is frustrating because for most of my adult life, I have asked for little in terms of help and/or support from anyone, but now that I ask for something quite simple…deafening silence. I am not sure if I am hurt, stunned, disappointed, angry, mystified, or a combination of all of these things. All I do know is that the silence has sent a very clear message that comes with a very clear response. There will be no more reaching out (except for those select few). There will be nothing but silence meeting silence. I do not care if it seems stubborn or counter-productive. I am just tired of living on a one way street when it comes to family, and now that street has found its dead end.
There are good things about dead ends, however. They give you the chance to turn around and go back and find a new direction and to redefine important things such as what "family" really means. Our family is, and for some time has been, centered in Greenbelt. Our kids all play together. We all help one another with created projects as well as crisis ones. We have cookouts, share dinners, and laugh and cry together. So, this is where my focus will reside and where family will be redefined…where there is love, support, and anything but silence…and the select few know who they are and are always welcome and always appreciated.
Sorry for yet another rant, but your Dad is tired of the excuses and the silence.
I love you!