Ava started with a low grade fever this week that turned into an ear infection that turned into a much higher fever on Thursday. The fever never reached dangerous levels but an irrationality took over when she became lethargic, slept much of the day and refused to eat. In an adult, we would just shrug it off as they are sick and we know exactly how they feel. Well, in your 4 year old Big Sister, Daddy became worried, then irrationally worried, then did something he had never done before…your irrational Daddy put his hand under her sleeping little face to feel her breathe. Then 10 minutes later, again, then 5 minutes later, then I stirred her to make sure she was ok. She told me she was sleepy and asked that Daddy cover her back up. For the first time, Daddy was terrified of losing Ava too. Does it make rational sense? No. Does it make sense in my new reality? Yes.
Hopefully you understand that Daddy is not crazy, just had a totally irrational fear about something every other parent has experienced, just not with the information Daddy now has about the death of one of their children.
I love you little guy!