Monday, January 9, 2012

Needed a Break

Colin,

Daddy has gotten so used to trying to share something every day that he kind of got lost in the whole process and forgot to take time to not think about your death and SIDS. So, this weekend, Daddy took a little hiatus in order to let the mind decompress. Trust me, it is not that Daddy stopped thinking about you or hoping for an answer to your death. It was just that Daddy was wondering if he was becoming a bit too obsessed in an unhealthy way in trying to find an answer that may never, and probably will never be available in his lifetime. Mommy noticed. I am sure Ava noticed. Many other people may have noticed that your Dad was a bit "off" as well. Well, the two day break was much needed to kind of get Daddy's brain back on track and realize that just because I do not necessarily have anything to type/say to you that particular day does not mean that I love you or miss you any less. It is just that sometimes my thoughts are just that...thoughts, and not all of those thoughts need to shared. They, and you, can just live in my heart and head, and keeping you "alive" does not necessarily mean sharing you in this blog every day. Sometimes Daddy forgets that and needs to be reminded to take a moment to recharge...yet another reason your Mommy is so special. She did not even need a 2x4 this time.

Much love!
Daddy

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