Monday, April 30, 2012

Grand Illusions and Delusions


Daddy listens to music probably 10 hour per day as it is something he has always enjoyed and related to. His playlist at work runs from 1920's Blues to 2012 Alternative while occasionally stopping into the realms of Classical, Jazz, Rap, Hard Core Rock, and some stuff that is hard to categorize. That being said, Daddy does have some favorites, a band called Nine Inch Nails being one of them. They are a Rock/Alternative band that really touch some nerves by asking difficult questions that directly relate to what is in your Dad's brain these days. One song, Right Where It Belongs, asks five question in particular that really make Daddy think.

  • What if everything around you isn't quite as it seems?
    • The world is not quite what it seems. The world it a series of exterior projections we all show in order to hide many of the interior conflicts and issues we do not care to show others for fear of being seen in ways that make us look bad or strange in their eyes. So, imagine how the world would really look if we stripped away the billions of facades the human race projects every single moment of every single day. It would either be beautiful or horrifying depending on your perspective of complete and open honesty in every aspect of life.
  • What if all the world you think you know is an elaborate dream?
    •  If that were the case, I would be happy since all of my dreams are nightmares. Daddy has not had a good nights sleep in ages mainly because of these persistent bad dreams and flashbacks. So, if the world was an elaborate dream, I would ask to have my ticket revoked so I can get out of it.
  • And if you look at your reflection is it all you want it to be?
    • This one is the question that is the easiest to answer...No. Daddy hates the mirror. It is the only thing that reflects the honest truth and you can not look into it and hope for a lie that makes you feel better because it never lies. It shows you exactly who you are and who is behind all of those facades you put up so other people do not see all the pain and suffering behind those hollow eyes.
  • What if you could look right through the cracks?
    • Daddy wishes that this question was still an "if." Looking through those cracks is tougher that anyone will ever tell you because you have to examine all of the dark things about yourself that you try to keep hidden, drown out, or drown away. In the end, the only thing that happens is that not only can you see through those cracks, everyone else can too since they are now closer to chasms that are much more difficult to mend.
  • Would you find yourself, find yourself afraid to see?
    •  Simply, Yes! Facing your fears, your faults, your pain, vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and dependencies is terrifying because facing them means you now have to confront them, and that is often quite an ugly scenario. No one wants to admit there is something wrong with them (or many things), but we all have our dark secrets that we hide from others and ourselves. Shining a bright light on our ugliness makes us have to see that we are not the people we want to be or believe we are. The only positive is that shining a light on it makes us do something about the choice is do something positive or negative. You Daddy is trying to change many of his negative behaviors and turn them into positive ones so he is not so afraid to see.
I love you and am trying hard!

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