Colin,
Daddy is not so sure what to do with this one. On one hand, classifying long-term grief as a mental disorder would help a great many people. On the other, it further stigmatizes people just like your Dad who live normal lives with not-so-normal and completely unwanted 'baggage'. Daddy does consider himself altered or different now than before you died, but who would not be? Sometimes your Dad even questions his sanity and relevance in this world, but again, who does not ask a million questions of themselves after such an horrific life-altering event? Daddy has not found anyone yet who does not feel or think similarly. The only thing Daddy keeps finding are 'professional' opinions from well-meaning individuals who have one huge hole in their resume. None of them has a dead child. This is not a criticism by any means, just an observation about having to walk a mile in another man's shoes to be able to truly relate to that person's grief. Daddy would not wish this 'mental disorder' on anyone since there is no prognosis in regards to how long it will last, and there is no medication that will take away the flashbacks or nightmares that still haunt Daddy's mind. There is only time...lots and lots of time.
I love you and miss you every day!
Daddy
I've been following the DSM change over this for quite a while. I can see where some people may be able to get more help if they need it, but in the big picture, I see nothing good coming from this. And you're right. Most of the people behind the change have never lost a child or been through anything even remotely as traumatic, so they have no idea how bad this is.
ReplyDeleteThere is a psychologist/grief counselor that is fighting this pretty aggressively. She founded the MISS Foundation after her daughter died, and I like to read her blog. She posted a letter that she wrote to the APA, and later posted their response. When she responded again, she included some very personal history about her own experience with "mental disorders", which was pretty interesting. Her family convinced her to see a therapist after only a couple months, and the first thing he did was tell her she needed medications, without even truly listening to anything she was saying. She got pissed and found another person for a second opinion. A year later, that same therapist called her to apologize because he had just lost his young daughter and finally understood what she tried to tell him.